Anger is one of the basic human emotions. It is characterised by antagonism, towards someone or something that you feel has deliberately done you wrong. It can be a way of expressing a negative feeling and motivate you to find a solution to the problem, Excessive anger is a problem.
Anger can be triggered by 1. 1. A person’s environment. -Stress, Frustration, financial issues, Abuse, poor social or familial situations. An overwhelming demand on your time and energy can contribute to anger. 2. Being raised by parents who suffer from anger may predispose their children to suffer the same condition. 3.It has also been linked to the way some people reacts to a chemical serotonin. If the brain does not react normally to serotonin, the person may have difficulties with managing emotions.
Three types of anger 1. Passive Aggression. 2. Open Aggressive and 3. Assertive Anger.
Passive aggression is when you are angry because you do not like confrontation, you are silent. Sulking, procrastinating and pretending that everything is all right. Open Aggression. -This is when people lash out in anger and rage and become physically or verbally aggressive and may hurt others or themselves. This may come out in fighting, bullying, blackmailing, accusation, shouting, sarcasm and criticism. The anger may be taken out against property and us. Assertive Anger. This is the healthy way to deal with anger, by being controlled and confident, talking and listening, and open to help in dealing with the situation. This means thinking before you speak and being open and flexible to the other side. Being patient and not raising your voice, trying to understand what others are feeling and communicating how you are feeling. Dealing with anger assertively demonstrates maturity and care about your relationships.
Forgive a person that has apologised for making you angry. Forgive yourself and be willing to be forgiven. This will help your relationship to flourish and helps to calm you down.
Anger evokes physical symptom on the body (Tingling, racing heart beat and chest tightness, raised Blood Pressure. Headache.) Long term unresolved anger leads to anxiety, depression and heart disease. Long term anger influences the physical and emotional state and also on our social lives. It is essential to understand anger—its roots, its triggers, its consequences—and cultivate the ability to manage it. For those who struggle with chronic anger, or for those who only experience occasional outbursts, learning skills to identify and navigate this powerful emotion can lead to growth and change
Treatment of Anger.
1 Talking therapy – With the help of a counsellor or psychologist. You are helped to explore the causes of your anger and to manage it. It helps to work through your feelings and improve how you respond to situations that make you angry.
2. Counselling. You talk about specific issues such as anger in the work place and how to manage the situation differently. This is a longer proses than Talking therapy
3 .Psychotherapy. goes deeper into past experiences. You are focussed on learning more about yourself to let you understand why you express your anger the way that you do. And why certain situations make you angry.
4 .Cognitive behavioural Therapy (CBT) A short time, highly focussed therapy that examines how your thoughts, feeling and behaviour affect each other and aims to teach you practical skills to change this.
Tips for dealing with anger.
1.Learn what triggers your anger. The situation, or event that triggers it and develop a plan to cope and think about how to react before the situation occurs. Keeping a diary of triggers, how you felt, how you behaved and how you felt afterwards.
2. Examine your thoughts. When you are angry, your thoughts may be negative, which does not help. Try to replace them with less negative thoughts. Replace ‘Always happen, never with softer ones like sometimes, or could ‘when thinking about the situation. This may make you calmer.
3. Develop your communication skill. Your anger distracts people from what you are saying. If you are able to communicate in an assertive, respectful way about what makes you angry, you are more likely to be understood.
4. Examine your lifestyle. Be active and exercise. Exercise releases tension and helps your self-esteem. Sleep Well. Not sleeping well affects how we feel and our reaction to situations. Eat well and avoid excessive alcohol. Learn to deal with pressure or stress which affects the way that we react to situations.
5. Give yourself time to think. Walk away, or go for a walk to calm down and think about how to react when you are calmer. Count slowly from one to ten before speaking and reacting. Do not reply to a letter or Email that makes you angry immediately. Reply much later when you are calmer and have thought carefully about the issue. Discuss the issue with someone not connected with the situation.
6. Some techniques to help you with your feelings. Breath slowly. Distract yourself mentally and physically to focus your mind from the anger; put music on ,do something with your hands -art, painting.
Organisation that can help.
1.Mind.org.uk 2.Online therapy organisation such as ‘Betterhelp’ or Regain