Courtship is period during which a couple develop a romantic relationship before getting married. Or it is a process that an individual develops with the intention of establish an intimate relationship with another person.
When two people are attracted to each other and feel romantically or sexually interested that they may want to get to know each other they go on a date. It means you are seeing someone with a specific purpose, have time to yourselves only, and in regular intervals, with the hope of culminating it into more defined relationship, if both persons feel the same way. Love and romance can develop.
Behaviour at dating varies with Age, Culture and Religion.
The younger 20s are more exploratory, multidate and make mistakes. Career issues ,difficulties in friendships make the singles in their 30s, have a different attitude and behaviour to dating. Some would have learnt fro mistakes and failed love, and life takes on a new meaning. In the 40s singles are more stable in jobs ,wiser and may have less social interaction time. The biological clock is against them and this and other social issues affect their dating behaviour.
Culture affect dating behaviour differently in many parts of the world. It is non existent in arranged marriages, whilst the western culture a person may have multiple dates and sexual experiences. In other parts of the world, when a couple are seen together it means marriage is imminent,living together is not an option. It is to be noted that the younger generation in various cultures adopt a mixture of these models.
The Christian couple are expected not to have sexual relationship before marriage. Whilst this is the teaching of other religion, younger people are at a dilemma about dating behaviour. Couples from different cultures and religion have to discuss these issues.
Dating goes through the various stages and results in pre marriage and ultimately marriage. The couple decide to commit to each other and raise children.
Dating Tips
- Singles must work at making yourselves a person people can live with. Evaluate your own Character. Qualities like respect for others and their opinion, tolerance, honesty, integrity, selflessness. Learn to communicate, to forgive and to manage money.
- Attend a premarital class when you both are contemplating marriage. Thes gives you an insight what marriage is and highlight the common probles and how to approach them.
- Be yourself. You gain nothing by putting on a false air to impress the opposite sex.
- What you see is what you get. Don’t’ have the illusion that a person will change (or you can change them) when you get married.
- Get to know and observe the person you are courting. Open discussion may reveal why they behave and react to comments and situations. Agree a compromise in areas of disagreement and different viewpoints.
- In multicultural and in couples of different religions. Discuss, the differences, set boundaries as permitted by their customs and religion. Discuss expectations pre and when married.
- Associate with individuals with the same values and morals as yourself.
Christian courtship (good news)
- Avoid dating for fun. Think marriage.
- Draw boundaries for intimacy in dating relationship. The Christian religion teaches sex in the confines of marriage. Christian couples must exercise self-control. Boundaries reflect Values.
- Date someone who is of the same spiritual orientation as yourself. You are advised not to be yoked with unbelievers. 2Cor:14. ‘’Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” Make sure you’re yoked with someone who is committed to going the same way and at the same speed as you.
- Date someone who in their behaviour and action demonstrate that they are true Christians and no a nominal Christian. Does he/she have a heart of service? Do they demonstrate ‘The Fruit of the Spirit ? “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23)
- Cultivate the habit of praying together. Ask the Holy spirit to guide, direct and reveal who your marriage partner is.
- Pray and determine not to yield to temptation. John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.”